“If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).
Being mortal and imperfect, we are all subject to many weaknesses. In this verse, the Lord explains His purpose in allowing us to experience mortality and to encounter such weaknesses—to help us be humble. Notice, though, that we choose to humble ourselves. How is becoming ready in step 6 part of humbling yourself?
Step 6 requires humility if you are going to be honest with yourself. I may ask God to remove my shortcomings in Step 7, but if I do so with reservation, or unwillingness, then Step 7 ineffective. To me Step 7 seems to be asking for perfection. It is a challenge I am worried about. I am told we cannot achieve perfection in this life, but it seems that is the intent of step 7. I feel like I cannot really move to this step without truly becoming ready and I still do not feel ready. Step 6 is about humbling myself. It is about really becoming aware of my weaknesses and my inability to remove them on my own in spite of my desires to do so. I am not certain I even have the desire yet. I have things I do not perceive as weaknesses, but if I were fully honest, are just that. I am needing to focus on taking steps to avoid things that allow my weaknesses to grow and control me.
Chief among these is my passion for argumentation and political discourse. It has absorbed me over the past months and in this season of very bitter and nasty things being said, mostly against a man I admire deeply and who invested much to help this country get back on the right track, it is hard for me to keep my mouth shut or my anger in check. I feel I checked my religion at the door as Elder Holland spoke about during a recent BYU devotional. I need to return to full kindness and gentleness. I need to let this go if I am unable to manage my words or emotions. Yet I haven’t even wanted to. I took myself out of social networks and am going to consider a permanent disconnect.
This is just one example of things I don’t treat as weaknesses, but bind me down.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Dependent on the Savior
During the Sermon on the Mount, the Savior fulfilled the Law of Moses. He did not remove the commandments. Simple reading of the sermon on the Mount reveals not only did he not remove the necessity for obedience, he significantly raised the bar for obedience.
During this sermon the Savior took the commandment "thou shalt not kill" and extended it to command us to be reconciled with those who have angered us, to forgive them. In fact he went so far as to give a timeframe for that forgiveness. Do not come to do your alms without first being reconciled. In our day it would be the same as saying do not come to the this meeting and partake of the Sacraments, do not pay your offerings, do not perform your service without first being reconciled to those who have offended you. Leave thy gift at the Altar, the savior said, and remember thy brother who hath ought against thee.
The sermon includes similar additions to the commandment of not committing adultery and higher law about loving one another with a special emphasis on loving, doing good, and praying for your enemies. Indeed the teachings of Jesus and what he wishes us to be is no less that "be there for perfect even as I or your father in heaven is perfect."
The Savior concludes his sermon with the parable of the wise man in the foolish man and the respective homebuilding venues. Those who follow the Savior's commandments are like the wise men and built his house upon the rock and the tribulations of the world allowed to hold firm. The foolish man who hears these things only as built his house on sand and is unable to withstand the tribulations of the world. Clearly the gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of action, it moves beyond believing and focuses on doing.
This teaching is reinforced in the Doctrine and Covenants when he says “I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance” and in the Book of Mormon when it is written that “No unclean thing can enter into the kingdom of God.”
This fact, that the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree allowance, combined with the fact that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God, and continue to do so puts the latter-day Saint at risk of spiritual frustration. These feelings can turn the gospel into a burden that one must carry. We may desire to remove this burden but a sense of duty and responsibility to live according to the gospel keeps us carrying it.
However, if unchecked, these feelings of frustration and turn to feelings the desperation. And in the most sorrowful situations, these feelings of desperation become abandonment of Gospel principles.
I have heard these emotions expressed in different ways. They appear in statements like: Lord would not want someone like me as a missionary. I am just a bad person. I have decided that I am not meant to be happy in this lifetime. I feel out of place a church because they’re all so good and I am not. Or, they know my life and I just feel judged there. I heard in the sisterly laments of “I’m not like sister Jones.” or I can’t keep a clean house or bottle fruit. I hear in rebellious statements such as, your religion is all about control and fear and you can’t ask people to change who they are. Or you are all like robots.
These statements, varied though they are, are all expressing the same thing; a sense of an inability to live successfully according to the commandments of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. We try, but we find ourselves failing again and again.
This feeling, that one is simply inadequate to live the gospel of Jesus Christ is not new. The Prophet, Alma declared the desire to claim the gospel as an angel and then later lamented that he was sinning in this desire. The Apostle Peter asked the Savior to depart from him for he was a sinful man and unworthy of the Lord's favor. The prophet Elijah had shown great miracles and demonstrated the power of the Lord over the pagan gods only to be pursued by soldiers seeking his life. He wished he Lord to take his life for he believed he had failed in his mission.
Isaiah upon seeing the Lord in the heavens proclaimed himself to be a man of unclean lips. And perhaps the most beautiful and instructor of all lamentations, Nephi whose demonstrated capacity to have faith and follow and obey and achieve things that would seem to be impossible to the normal man cried out not as a child but as a grown man rich in a of service, "O wretched man that I am."
Thus latter-day Saints can take comfort in knowing that our feelings about inadequacies and our frustrations at being unable to completely perform all that Lord asks of us are not unusual. But this is not enough.
We are told to be of good cheer. The first time this was spoken was Just before Jesus’ betrayal which resulted in his arrest and arraignment. Just before his illegal and mocking trial. Just before scourge of a whip, a crown of thorns, the scattering of his twelve apostles, a vocal denial of him by Peter. Just before his tortuous crucifixion at the hands of those who had mastered the art of inflicting pain. He stated this before his apostles would be left to carry on the ministry, which resulted in the martyrdom of all but one. Just before this chain of events would occur, the Savior instructed his followers to “Be of good cheer.”
Later, the Apostle Paul would be imprisoned and while there, visited by the resurrected Lord. Wherein the Lord told him to be of good cheer. In the early days of the restoration, the heavenly admonition to be of good cheer, was given following life threatening journeys on the Missouri river and while trying to figure how to provide for the poor.
Finally, in the cold and damp of the cellar of a jail cell in the ironically named Liberty, the savior gave comfort to Joseph Smith and after sharing his perspective, gave him a similar admonition, “therefore hold on thy way, thy days are known and thy years shall not be numbered less.
It would seem that regardless of the burdens of our life, whether we feel them from external or internal forces, the Lord wants us to be happy. Yet, so often the burdens of our own inadequacy bring us down into sorrow. Are we wrong for feeling sorrow? Of course not. It was only last week during one of the most profoundly comforting sacrament meetings I have attended, a beautiful examination of scriptures revealed to us the truth that it is okay to feel sorrow. This was followed up with instruction on what to do about it. It is something I feel the need to expound upon.
Those of us who labor under the burden of inadequacy while trying to live the gospel of Jesus Christ feel as though there is something missing in us. We somehow feel fundamentally flawed and incapable of the celestial life and thus unworthy of the celestial eternities. We feel as though there's something missing in us that others seem to have.
There is nothing missing. There is no flaw that makes us unable to live the gospel of Jesus Christ. Often, the only thing we are lacking in many cases is perspective.
We understand how the sinner must come to Christ through faith, repentance, baptism, and receiving the Holy Ghost. We understand that those trapped grievous sin or who have yet to understand that they are sinners need to turn to the Savior.
But what about those that we may not classify as sinners? What about those who are not steeped in serious sin or committing sins habitually. What about those who strive to follow the Savior and stumble along the way? What about the lamenting Nephi, the guilt ridden father of a wayward child, the heavily burdened Bishop or Relief Society president? Or, my personal favorite, one about the Relief Society sister feels incapable of doing all she supposed to do and believe herself inadequate when compared to the other sisters feels her work is hopeless and in vain?
There are no more comforting words in all of the Scriptures than the oft quoted but perhaps seldom understood passages in Matthew 11:28-30.
28. Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
For me I find the universal nature of the invitation significant. He wasn't speaking only to sinners or saints. He was not addressing any specific burden he was addressing all who feel burden under whatever way it is whether it be the burden of a sinful life or the burden of attempting to do more than be just good or the burden put upon us by others. Come unto me, all ye that labour, he said.
Whether we see ourselves as the sinner trying to find a way back to relief, or the person who has long embraced the gospel and strives to live it but feels inadequate, even if we see ourselves as something in between that we cannot fully define, perhaps progressed to a certain level and now stuck in a rut with habits or behaviors that we just cannot shake, regardless of where we are in our lives, the path to get to where we want to be is the same. Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest.
Nowhere is this more instructive than in 2 Nephi 4, Nephi’s lament.
16 Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.
17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
Too often the result of this passage is the the thought, if Nephi feels this way, what hope is there for me? This expression completely misses the point. Regardless of what how you view Nephi, he was human and subject to weakness, his willingness to express his humanness openly and honestly to the reader makes him my most cherished of scriptural heroes. What is important in this passage is not only his recognition of inadequacies, but how he resolved this feeling.
In verse 19 he ends with “Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.” Prior to this when Nephi laments he looks at only himself and examines only his weaknesses. When he does this he sees himself as sinful, inadequate, unworthy. He resolves burden this by immediately turning his attention to the Savior.
19 ...nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.
23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.
He then reminds himself where he is to look for his own life
30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.
31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?
32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!
33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.
Then finally he re-commits himself to the same path that got him thus far in his life:
34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.
35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.
My question to those who feel unrequited burdens is this. Where is our trust at this moment? Is it in the Lord or in our own selves? Have we begun to be like the wild branches Zenos’s of the olive tree and feel as though we have grown beyond the roots of the good trees and are trying to take strength unto ourselves?
To those who read Nephi’s lament and think if he declares himself a sinner, I am without hope, I respond, if those devoted like Nephi are needing to put their trust in the savior for continued growth, then how much more am I needing to do this.
Perhaps we have come to this as result of pride, believing ourselves now to have sufficient strength. Perhaps we have allowed complacency to come into our lives. As a result our prayers have weakened or been forgotten. Perhaps we are among those who've reached a point in our life that we feel that we must do things to be worthy of God's love and grace.
Often times the Scripture found in 2 Nephi 25:23 is misinterpreted:
23 For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do.
Many times that last phrase after all we can do with these people to believe that they cannot receive the help of God nor his love and compassion until they have completed their part first. For example I have often heard an analogy that's similar to this I know that if I am swimming and there is a marker out there is about a half-mile away I must first reach that marker and then the Lord will help me with the second half of a mile. The problem with this analogy and the problem with this way of thinking is that if we do not experience the relief we want we can always look in our life and finding something we failed to do good enough. In other words we all know more about what we should do and what we actually do.
Therefore if we continue with the belief that we will only receive from God when we have contributed our own down payment sufficiently we will continually find ourselves frustrated and unable to rely on the Lord. I am most intrigued by this creature because it is spoken by the same prophet that gave us the salt that I have just read. Consider those words by Nephi, "Oh Lord I have trusted the and I will put my trust in the forever." Consider what he said just before this. Does this sound like a man who feels like he must wait for the Lord's help? Does this sound like a man who feels as though he has not done enough to receive the love of God? Nephi sorrows when he looks only at himself but when he looks to the Lord he rejoices and seeks his mercy regardless of his inadequacies. When one considers this, then the phrase we are saved by grace after all we can do simply can not be in chronological separation. The idea that we have to do X amount before the Savior comes in and helps us is simply not God's plan.
To this extent our religious scholars including BYU professor and author Stephen E. Robinson have stated that it phrase does denote a timeline, but a separation of actions. Restated: We are saved by grace apart from all that we can do.
This does not mean that we are not to do our part, it does not mean that we can sit back and literally proclaim our belief in Christ and expect salvation to come to us. This is a gospel of action is clear that the Lord expects us to do and do all that we can. However it is also clear that since the beginning of time from the fall of Adam forward the Lord has also expected this to stumble. Indeed one might be able say he built this that way. In Ether 12:27-28 we read:
27 ... I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
28 Behold, I will show unto the Gentiles their weakness, and I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me—the fountain of all righteousness.
Jesus wants us to return to him. He wants us to come to him with our burdens whatever they may be, he has gone so far as to make us imperfect, weak, fallible, so that we in our own inadequacies will turn to him. Come unto me and I will give you rest.
Our faith must not just be faith in Christ the person. We must accept his actions and words and apply them to us. We must be willing to accept that what he has done he has done for us and that what he has spoken he has spoken to us. We must be willing to give him our burdens and then seek those who are also burden and bear them by the same means.
We have the right, the privilege and the Power to go to our heavenly father and as was spoken so eloquently last week at this pulpit, cry unto the lord and express our sorrows.
The atonement of Jesus Christ is infinite. It reaches into every corner and every edge this universe. It is able to change the most vile of sinners. It is able to bring about repentance and forgiveness of sin. It is capable of removing those things which we are. The Lord expects us to weary him with our weariness of our inadequacies.
If you have reached a point where obedience to the commandments is commonplace, I am happy for you, perhaps even envious, but congratulations and glory belong to God the Eternal Father and His Son Jesus Christ. Failing to recognize their hand in this not only offends God, it moves you forward on your own in your own strength a strength which at its greatest is nothing.
I implore all of us to become or reliant, more dependent, or needing the strength of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Obstacles that Keep Me from Giving All My Sins Away
“The king said . . . what shall I do that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be filled with joy. . . . I will give up all that I possess . . . that I may receive this great joy. . . . “. . . The king did bow down before the Lord, upon his knees; yea, even he did prostrate himself upon the earth, and cried mightily, saying: “O God . . . I will give away all my sins to know thee, and that I may be raised from the dead, and be saved at the last day” (Alma 22:15, 17–18).
Reread Alma 22:15, 17–18 carefully. What obstacles— including attitudes and feelings—keep you from giving away “all [your] sins” and more fully receiving the Spirit of the Lord?
There is certainly an addiction to time wasting in my life. As I have moved away from indulging in my addiction, I have found other, less damaging activities that would fill that time. None of them are very productive. For me using social networks for argumentation and debating politics has been major. With the election being so close, so divisive and at times, the attacks being so vicious, I took sides and took to defending my favorite candidate from what has been said about him. But in the course of doing do, I discovered a wealth of time wasting in argumentation behavior. It appealed to another base feeling. It was not as damaging as indulging in my lusts, but it was not productive.
What more is that I tried to do other things, but I couldn’t seem to to anything more productive. Reading the word of God, writing in a journal, learning and improving my professional skill set all seemed to require more energy than I had. But being alone with my thoughts and allowing them to travel down to base desire came all too naturally. So I am beginning to realize my thoughts when I am in tired moments quickly descend to the natural man desires. Coming out of those has been difficult. Instead I have only moved from one time waster to another. I am trying to work on taking that time and being more productive and focused. But being willing to give up what is going on in my head has taken over the year to master and I don’t know I am ready to move on.
I read step 7 and feel unready to move to it. I really want the request to be sincere. I want to be fulling willing to give it all up as has been suggested in step 6. I don’t know that I am. I like certain activities like social networking and argumentation. I like just watching shows on TV that may not be porn but are not appropriate. I like fantasy. All of this puts me in a place to lust in my heart. I don’t know I have ever been willing to fully let that go.
Reread Alma 22:15, 17–18 carefully. What obstacles— including attitudes and feelings—keep you from giving away “all [your] sins” and more fully receiving the Spirit of the Lord?
There is certainly an addiction to time wasting in my life. As I have moved away from indulging in my addiction, I have found other, less damaging activities that would fill that time. None of them are very productive. For me using social networks for argumentation and debating politics has been major. With the election being so close, so divisive and at times, the attacks being so vicious, I took sides and took to defending my favorite candidate from what has been said about him. But in the course of doing do, I discovered a wealth of time wasting in argumentation behavior. It appealed to another base feeling. It was not as damaging as indulging in my lusts, but it was not productive.
What more is that I tried to do other things, but I couldn’t seem to to anything more productive. Reading the word of God, writing in a journal, learning and improving my professional skill set all seemed to require more energy than I had. But being alone with my thoughts and allowing them to travel down to base desire came all too naturally. So I am beginning to realize my thoughts when I am in tired moments quickly descend to the natural man desires. Coming out of those has been difficult. Instead I have only moved from one time waster to another. I am trying to work on taking that time and being more productive and focused. But being willing to give up what is going on in my head has taken over the year to master and I don’t know I am ready to move on.
I read step 7 and feel unready to move to it. I really want the request to be sincere. I want to be fulling willing to give it all up as has been suggested in step 6. I don’t know that I am. I like certain activities like social networking and argumentation. I like just watching shows on TV that may not be porn but are not appropriate. I like fantasy. All of this puts me in a place to lust in my heart. I don’t know I have ever been willing to fully let that go.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Jesus The Dentist - Recovery Journal
“If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27).
Being mortal and imperfect, we are all subject to many weaknesses. In this verse, the Lord explains His purpose in allowing us to experience mortality and to encounter such weaknesses—to help us be humble. Notice, though, that we choose to humble ourselves. How is becoming ready in step 6 part of humbling yourself? ARP Manual, Step 6, Study and Understanding.
It is interesting to me that we have some steps that are kind of two-part steps. It is as though we need to take time to get ourselves ready to become something like humble then actually act in that humility. Thus step 6 and 7 are two parts of the same step. I get this. Becoming humble after a lifetime of pride in a world of pride is a very difficult thing to do. It does take preparation of one’s mind and heart.
Coming unto Christ only to have weaknesses exposed is an emotionally difficult thing for me to do. For me it is analogous to going to the dentist for a toothache. I came for the pain to have it removed. But the dentist sees not only the tooth that is damaged, he sees the cleaning needed, the gum disease, the lack of flossing between the teeth. The humiliation of not having cared for the tooth in pain is added upon by the dentist’s continual mentions of my other failures while in the chair. I am not in the mood for this right now. I only want the pain to go away.
Of course, he knows better. He knows failing to do these other pieces will bring be back to his chair for the wrong reasons. He wants me back, but not to fix huge damage. He wants me back so he can improve upon what I have. He want to clean and fluoridate, and suggest ways to make my teeth strong, enduring and beautiful into my old age.
Yet if I fail to do this, I return only because the pain has become too severe. He can fix this, but the horrifically long needle that looks like a 18th century pneumatic instrument means this will not be a free from pain path.
Jesus doesn’t want us to go through the pain in the first place. He wants us to come to him to begin removing the little things so that he doesn’t have to perform the repeated root canals found in Alma 22:17:
And it came to pass that after Aaron had expounded these things unto him, the king said: What shall I do that I may have this eternal life of which thou hast spoken? Yea, what shall I do that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be filled with joy, that I may not be cast off at the last day? Behold, said he, I will give up all that I possess, yea, I will forsake my kingdom, that I may receive this great joy.
Yes we have to do this, but afterwards, we have to return to him over and over to have the maintenance and reminders of our souls. Then we have to follow this. Coming to Christ and being seated at his throne whereby he may expose to us our unseen and unfelt decay is crucial to continued happiness instead of a life of sorrow for serious sin then returning then serious sin again then returning again. This is not the Lord’s pattern. His is to have us return each day to have more of our folly exposed so we can return more to him to have more of our folly removed. This is the path to perfection. This is the path to God through Jesus Christ.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
October 2012 Conference - Saturday AM Session
Elder Quentin L. Cook focused on Alma's challenge as found in Alma 5. He used this to remind all of us, but especially youth to be commited to the Gospel. He condemmned physical and emotional abuse of family members. He correlated the family unit as important to social civility. He clearly stated that sexual immorality is a sin. Some LDS teachings have a corresponding message in society. Sexual immorality does not. He then reminded us that it is never too late to apply the Savior's Atonement in our lives.
Sister Ann Dibb summarized her sermon at the start: Having confidence in our identity as a member of the LDS Church. Fourth things we need to have in our message: I'm a Mormon: I know it. I live it. I love it. A convert saw the modesty and standards as a sign of the truth of the LDS church.
Elder Craig Christensen, spoke on the unspeakable gift, the Holy Ghost. He told of his son's feeling of the Spirit while visiting a Temple and discussed his feelings. Elder Christensen contrasted the The grandeur of what he saw to the seemingly small feeling fis son felt. The primary Purpose of the Holy Ghost to bear witness. It carries more certainty than any other source. It is more powerful than even personal contact with heavenly beings. The most common description of influence of the Holy Ghost is a feeling.
Elder Shayne Bowen told his own tragic and deeply moving personal story about the loss of a child. He shared his own emotions and frustrations in an extremely honest way. He then explained how his pain became peace and then joy.
His family will not experience a fullness of Joy until they are fully reunited. However, we can continue with good cheer. We can receive comfort. Those feelings of sorrow loneliness and despair will one day be replaced with a fullness of Joy. All that is unfair of life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Elder Russel M. Nelson declared that missionary service is a priesthood duty.
He invited all those who investigate this church to keep all that is good and true and then see if we can add more. Do you Have struggles, have questions? Are you seeking direction or feeling an sense of needing more? Do you want to understand the Bible better? Would you like to help people in need? Do you want to know more about the Lord Jesus Christ? Ask the missionaries, they can help you.
Elder Uchtdorf spoke on living life without regrets by devoting yourself to the path of discipleship and happiness. He talked about truly connecting with one another. He expressed that living the gospel is the way to live both devotedly and happily. We must not live our faith as the boy who dipped his foot in the water and claimed he went swimming. He spoke against over use of social networking when we should connect more to one another and serve one another. Making this post perhaps the greatest act of hypocrisy yet.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Captain Moroni Ascribes all Glory to God Even When he Prepares his People
Even though Capt. Moroni prepared his people, he does not ascribe his power to his own doings or preparations. He has full faith that God has been with them and even with their preparations, only God can fully preserve them. The enemy does not recognize God and only recognizes the temporal nature of their efforts. Even though they had been prepared temporally, Capt. Moroni ascribes this to God and all their protection to God so for him even the temporal preparations are spiritual. Zerehamna only sees the physical preparations and ignores testimony.
When I am buoyed up by God and my efforts result in blessings, do I give glory to God in my heart or do I ascribe it to my own unaided efforts which are truly never unaided? As I review step 6 in my recovery, my regular scripture reading reveals to me the need to recognize the Lord as my only salvation in this program and thus my need to become completely dependent on him.
Recovery Journal - What Must I Do tthat I may be Born of God
The King said...what shall I do that I may be born of God, having this wicked spirit rooted out of my breast, and receive his Spirit, that I may be fill with joy...The king did bow down before the Lord, upon his knees; yea, even did he prostrate himself upon the earth, and cried mightily saying: "Oh God...I will give away all my sins to know thee ans that I may be raised from the dead and be saved at the last day."
--- Alma 22:15, 17-18
What obstacles-including attitudes and feelings-keep you from givving away all your sins and more fully receiving the Spirit of the Lord
The King of the Lamanites, Lamoni, tells a story that is as wonderful as it is incredulous. It's not that I don't believe the story, I know that given its place in the Book of Mormon it is true. The events are the type that seem only happen in the ancient world. Such things do not seem to happen today, so for me, the truth is more in the meaning of the experience and less in the actual events. While I have never held to such miraculous events being needed for a testimony, such a conversion of a person or a people or other miracle would be nice to experience. Perhaps as we become less of the lukewarm people of modern days and more of the dichotomy seen in the Book of Mormon, then our faith will become great enough for such miracles.
For the time being I am grateful for the kindness of the Lord in giving me the small miracles of the subtle changes of our heart and the continued miracle of his grace and forgiveness. These are the miracles I really need and the ones that make a difference in my life today. I am not like Lamoni, my ability to give all my sins as he was willing to do does not exist. I am not certain even my willingness to give them exists. To this extent I may be permanently on step six in my recovery, never fully becoming ready have the Lord remove all my character weaknesses.
I usually keep my writing with the steps we focus on for the week, but I am thinking I really need to put my heart and time into step 6. I pray that I may find a level of trust and humility to abandon attitudes that keep me from fully accepting the love of God into my heart.
I have been less ambitious in my journaling lately. I have been obsessed with my business projects that require completion before payment. I am behind. I am too slow at this work. I need to seek help from the Lord on this and become willing to lay it aside for my commitments to my recovery.
During one of the meetings, a brother and sister attended. Both want to remove these weaknesses. Both want to be free from addiction. I want it for them, but I confess not feeling a lot of hope for them. Mainly because each statement for wanting to change came with qualifiers. They talked about how friends and even their places of residence impact them. I honestly feel that before they will be able to experience sobriety both of these will be sacrificed. I hope they will do so. They definitely seemed to be uncommitted, and I knew I needed to focus my thoughts on the Love of God to ensure I kept my heart charitable for them. I still need to be less judgmental and careful about how I view others. It is a place where pride could fester.
But I did think about the unwillingness they seemed to express as the qualified their desire to change. I wonder what unwillingness I have that I use to qualify my desire for a change of heart. I should take time and ponder this meaning.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Recovery journal entries 20120723
These are some entries I made while in New York last week.
7/17/2012
What if I were miserable in my work? What if everyday of getting up and doing my job felt like a someone inserted a black hole into my gut and my entire life and soul were being sucked into it and it felt as though I had to fight constantly not to get swallowed up in the emptiness? What if the Lord prompted me to stay at this job regardless? I have tried so hard to find work to satisfy me and who I am. Even now, on a train to NYC from Newark to work on consulting, I wish I were in training even though this work is satisfying and does pay a better wage. But what if the travel gets too much and I get too weary and I am still feeling like I need to stay. Could I find joy in the fact that I am following the will of the Lord?
I am not saying this is my future, but my past has been so filled with definition of myself by my work. My examples of self worth are work based. I have always sought for help in work based on my own enjoyment of it. Do what you love, the money will follow is the title of a book and a mantra of today's working professional, but it only works in an economy where workers are at a deficit and people really know their true self. Most of us don't figure that out in our lifetime and lately we have seen a surplus of workers. So if I were directed to a job that I would normally hate, say working outside in the hot sun (I have an abnormally active sweat capacity), could I do it if the Lord willed it so? This is a question that for me goes to step 3 and bears much thought about my future. I have left my security of a job for a business venture that leaves me feeling inadequate and on the verge of failure. I did it mainly due to inspiration from the Lord. But I do enjoy my work. I hope this blessing continues for the remainder of my life. It may depend more on my devotion to the Savior to find peace in my life outside of the workplace. I just need to find joy in my life without work being a source of it.
7/18/2012
Yesterday was not successful for me and controlling my anger. I had a bad day of bad timing. I left my client in Manhattan with just enough time to catch a train home to get on a confreence call for an addiction recovery meeting. I took the wrong turn out of the building and wound up missing the subway to Penn Station which meant I missed the train I intended to catch and then I took a train an either I missed the stop or it didn't stop there. I suspect it was the former, but I have NO recollection of my stop (Newark Penn Station) being taken by the train. That is silly, since all NJT trains from NYC stop there. Still, I can't say what happened except that I waited for 40 minutes at Newark Airport for a train back to Newark Penn. This means I missed my call by over an hour. I really wanted to be on that call. I hope to catch a meeting in Manhattan this evening. I feel I need it. I angered myself at all the missed trains and stops and calls. I swore as I angered. It was not anybody's fautl but mine.
7/19/2012 4:36 PM
“Reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not to the
will of the devil and the flesh; and remember, after ye
are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through
the grace of God that ye are saved” (2 Nephi 10:24).
• Consider what it means to live your life in harmony
with the will of God. Think about how His enabling
power can come into your life as you turn to Him.
How do you feel about letting God direct your life?
I think I am just beginning to feel like I am willing to follow the Lord's will. I am not talking keeping the commandments or going to meetings, I am talking about understanding the Lords will and being aligned to it in all things in my life. This is a new feeling.
7/17/2012
What if I were miserable in my work? What if everyday of getting up and doing my job felt like a someone inserted a black hole into my gut and my entire life and soul were being sucked into it and it felt as though I had to fight constantly not to get swallowed up in the emptiness? What if the Lord prompted me to stay at this job regardless? I have tried so hard to find work to satisfy me and who I am. Even now, on a train to NYC from Newark to work on consulting, I wish I were in training even though this work is satisfying and does pay a better wage. But what if the travel gets too much and I get too weary and I am still feeling like I need to stay. Could I find joy in the fact that I am following the will of the Lord?
I am not saying this is my future, but my past has been so filled with definition of myself by my work. My examples of self worth are work based. I have always sought for help in work based on my own enjoyment of it. Do what you love, the money will follow is the title of a book and a mantra of today's working professional, but it only works in an economy where workers are at a deficit and people really know their true self. Most of us don't figure that out in our lifetime and lately we have seen a surplus of workers. So if I were directed to a job that I would normally hate, say working outside in the hot sun (I have an abnormally active sweat capacity), could I do it if the Lord willed it so? This is a question that for me goes to step 3 and bears much thought about my future. I have left my security of a job for a business venture that leaves me feeling inadequate and on the verge of failure. I did it mainly due to inspiration from the Lord. But I do enjoy my work. I hope this blessing continues for the remainder of my life. It may depend more on my devotion to the Savior to find peace in my life outside of the workplace. I just need to find joy in my life without work being a source of it.
7/18/2012
Yesterday was not successful for me and controlling my anger. I had a bad day of bad timing. I left my client in Manhattan with just enough time to catch a train home to get on a confreence call for an addiction recovery meeting. I took the wrong turn out of the building and wound up missing the subway to Penn Station which meant I missed the train I intended to catch and then I took a train an either I missed the stop or it didn't stop there. I suspect it was the former, but I have NO recollection of my stop (Newark Penn Station) being taken by the train. That is silly, since all NJT trains from NYC stop there. Still, I can't say what happened except that I waited for 40 minutes at Newark Airport for a train back to Newark Penn. This means I missed my call by over an hour. I really wanted to be on that call. I hope to catch a meeting in Manhattan this evening. I feel I need it. I angered myself at all the missed trains and stops and calls. I swore as I angered. It was not anybody's fautl but mine.
7/19/2012 4:36 PM
“Reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not to the
will of the devil and the flesh; and remember, after ye
are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through
the grace of God that ye are saved” (2 Nephi 10:24).
• Consider what it means to live your life in harmony
with the will of God. Think about how His enabling
power can come into your life as you turn to Him.
How do you feel about letting God direct your life?
I think I am just beginning to feel like I am willing to follow the Lord's will. I am not talking keeping the commandments or going to meetings, I am talking about understanding the Lords will and being aligned to it in all things in my life. This is a new feeling.
Bitter words
They told me to be more tolerant. I became more tolerant.
They told me to be more understanding. I strived to understand.
They told me to be less judgmental. I worked to see them in a better light.
They told me to be more accepting. I accepted them in to my home and my life.
They told me to be more charitable. I gave them all I had to give,
my house,
my trust,
my possessions,
my heart.
I tried to be better for them.
I only became better for me.
For when I asked something of them,
When I asked them to repent,
They called me names:
intolerant,
judgmental,
rejecting,
They said I lacked charity and understanding.
They said I was hate.
The words they asked of me were sweet, I followed after them.
The same words to them were bitter.
They only served to hide their corruption.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Camp Letter to my Daughter
You are a funny little big girl. Your efforts to do the right things in spite of yourself make for a very interesting home. We could go on and on about your wonderful self as we have in previous letters. This time we will use this opportunity to talk about your future.
It is a bright future, one for which you should have much hope. You will be coming into your own this year, realizing your own freedom to choose and seeking to maximize that freedom. It is a time of worry for many parents, but not so much for us this time. You will be tempted, but you have demonstrated strength of spirit and a testimony of Christ. We hope it will continue to grow and you will remember the path set before you in your future plans.
Remember that you have been called to be something more than most in this future. You are called to help gather Israel. You will have to discover your role in this. What it means for all of us is that we must be true to our covenants we have made in the pas and that we must be willing to make other covenants in the future.
In our efforts to be accepting of all people, let’s also remember our own standards. Continue to love and bless the lives of all people as you currently do. Remember as well that these people are endeared to you for a light you have. They do not understand it and may not even know that this is what attracts them to you, but one day they will. Be true to the light of the gospel at all times.
We know you have worries about relationships. We have prayed about those as well and can tell you that we have no worries about this in you. When the time is right, you will meet the right man and you will have a life that will be filled with memorable times. The Lord will bless your marriage and you will have more to love in life than most can hope for. We ask only that you keep your standards high and that you marry in the Lord’s house. You may not understand this now, and you may not fully understand it when you marry, but I assure you that in your later years, you will understand it. Then you will find yourself on your knees giving thanks to the Lord for your choice.
Look for the opportunities to share your heart with others. You will achieve great things through the smallest of means. Widespread recognition may not be in your future. But you will leave a trail of happy memories for those whom pass in and out of your life. Never pass up a chance to greet another with love. This alone can change the course of lives. Your gift for charity is rare and should be shared often.
We love you and give you this advice for the future because we have so much peace in your life right now.
Love,
Mom and Dad
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Recovery Journal 20120708 - Step 2
“Preach unto them repentance, and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ; teach them to humble themselves and to be meek and lowly in heart; teach them to withstand very temptation of the devil, with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ” (Alma 37:33).
Many of us tried to get out of our addictions through sheer willpower or through having faith in a friend or therapist. Sooner or later we found that our faith in ourselves or others did not enable us to overcome our addictions fully. Write about your feelings today of being humble and willing to turn to Christ and His gospel above all other sources of help in your recovery efforts.
=====
I have listened to many people share in meetings and one of the things I hear a lot is their "strategies." I worry about this way of thinking. Often they will talk about learning the strategies for avoiding temptation or preventing themselves from succumbing to it. It is spoken like they have a plan, a way to out flank the devil and get themselves beyond this. I can't help but feel they are setting themselves up for failure. They are playing a game that has no hope for victory because they are playing a formidable opponent for the desires of their mind and heart. The field on which they play is thier own thoughts. So if my thoughts are where the issue lie, and I try to defeat my thoughts which are always with me, what are the chances for success? If I try to solve a problem of the mind with the mind, how do I not become frustrated?
It's like playing a chess game where the board has no end. If the board has no end then how do I remove a piece from off of the board? The most I can do it move it as far back as I can. Of course the distance I move it doesn't matter much. Many of the pieces can move right back into play every quickly. This is how the mind works. I can overcome a thought or desire on my own, but since it is in my head it can return and usually does so very quickly. Eventually, this will result in a vulnerability of mine being exploited at the point of my weakest and I will lose. It doesn't matter how good my game is.
So in responding to the question for this journal entry, I ask myself, do I have a strategy? If so what is it?
If I have one, it has two parts. First, recognize this game for what it is. I mean, recognize my feelings and desires for what they are, just feelings and desires. Acknowledge the feelings and that they exist. In doing this, I can see the feelings for what they are and that they are separate from my actions. I am really talking about is just having an awareness of my feelings from a more objective view. In the chess game analogy, what I am suggesting is stop trying to be the pieces and become the board. I have found that by doing this, I don't remove my thoughts, I just remove my obsession with them.
The second part goes to the scripture and the question at the start of this post. I turn the game over to the Lord. It is not mine to fight, or at least not alone. If I continue my analogy, I essentially present the game to the Lord. In other words, I come to him with my desires. I confess my feelings. I simply confess my feelings in prayer on my knees if I can. If not, I can do as so vocally. I have found that by simply acknowledging the desire for what it is and then taking it to the Lord, I find the fulfilling power of the spirit to overcome it. I don't know if this is a strategy or if I am simply following the counsel listed in this scripture.
I try to avoid the temptation as much as I can. I have a duty to minimize my risk. So here, maybe a look into avoidance strategies might help, but even so, I can't imagine any strategy that does not come with daily prayer and scripture study along with reading and answering questions from the ARP manual before your next meeting.
I do work on my emotional behaviors as well. I use much of what is taught by Dr. Glasser in his book "Choice Theory" because I find it aligns very strongly with the teachings of freedom and relationships as I have understood them in the scriptures and by our leaders. So I do use other helps.
However, the core of my strategy, if I have one, is still prayer, scripture study, work the program. If I am devoted to this, I have success. When I forget this or neglect it, I begin to fail. I notice that when I am doing the core, my feelings for my addiction reduce in intensity. When I feel them, I notice it much sooner. I think this is because I am feeling the spirit in me more and the distruption of that spirit is more obvious than if I was not as in tune with the Holy Ghost. If I can intensify my feelings of the spirit, then the temptations have less power over me and I have the ability to give them to the Lord and have the confidence that they will be handled correctly.
Elder Ballard in his October 2010 Conference talk spoke on prayer and addiction:
If anyone who is addicted has a desire to overcome, then there is a way to spiritual freedom—a way to escape from bondage—a way that is proven. It begins with prayer—sincere, fervent, and constant communication with the Creator of our spirits and bodies, our Heavenly Father. It is the same principle in breaking a bad habit or repenting from sin of any kind...Fervent prayer is key to gaining the spiritual strength to find peace and overcome an addictive craving. Heavenly Father loves all of His children, so thank Him and express sincere faith in Him. Ask Him for the strength to overcome the addiction you are experiencing. Set aside all pride and turn your life and your heart to Him. Ask to be filled with the power of Christ’s pure love. You may have to do this many times, but I testify to you that your body, mind, and spirit can be transformed, cleansed, and made whole, and you will be freed. This seems less a strategy and more a following of what the Savior has taught us since the beginning of time.
You can see by his fervent testimony that prayer is critical. He cites scriptures in this talk as well to demonstrate how prayer helps.
Using scriptures was exemplified by the Savior after he fasted for 40 days. Satan appeared to him and made three attempts to tempt him into sin. Much has be spoken about the ways he was tempted during this time. But for me, the greatest lesson isn't the ways we are tempted, it is the way we resist temptation. Three times Satan came to Jesus, each time with different seductions and each time the Savior response began with the same three words, "It is written." I could from here go on forever about the power of what was said. But for now, I will simply say, the savior used no strategy. He simply relied on the words of God and his own witness of them. I think this is a most crucial lesson.
In returning ot the original question. Reliance on the lord is the best strategy, connecting with him through prayer and gospel study is how we gain the power to overcome. I know this is the way. I know this works. I know this is the core of the Addiction Recovery Program. It brings us to repentance. I am most grateful for it.
Many of us tried to get out of our addictions through sheer willpower or through having faith in a friend or therapist. Sooner or later we found that our faith in ourselves or others did not enable us to overcome our addictions fully. Write about your feelings today of being humble and willing to turn to Christ and His gospel above all other sources of help in your recovery efforts.
=====
I have listened to many people share in meetings and one of the things I hear a lot is their "strategies." I worry about this way of thinking. Often they will talk about learning the strategies for avoiding temptation or preventing themselves from succumbing to it. It is spoken like they have a plan, a way to out flank the devil and get themselves beyond this. I can't help but feel they are setting themselves up for failure. They are playing a game that has no hope for victory because they are playing a formidable opponent for the desires of their mind and heart. The field on which they play is thier own thoughts. So if my thoughts are where the issue lie, and I try to defeat my thoughts which are always with me, what are the chances for success? If I try to solve a problem of the mind with the mind, how do I not become frustrated?
It's like playing a chess game where the board has no end. If the board has no end then how do I remove a piece from off of the board? The most I can do it move it as far back as I can. Of course the distance I move it doesn't matter much. Many of the pieces can move right back into play every quickly. This is how the mind works. I can overcome a thought or desire on my own, but since it is in my head it can return and usually does so very quickly. Eventually, this will result in a vulnerability of mine being exploited at the point of my weakest and I will lose. It doesn't matter how good my game is.
So in responding to the question for this journal entry, I ask myself, do I have a strategy? If so what is it?
If I have one, it has two parts. First, recognize this game for what it is. I mean, recognize my feelings and desires for what they are, just feelings and desires. Acknowledge the feelings and that they exist. In doing this, I can see the feelings for what they are and that they are separate from my actions. I am really talking about is just having an awareness of my feelings from a more objective view. In the chess game analogy, what I am suggesting is stop trying to be the pieces and become the board. I have found that by doing this, I don't remove my thoughts, I just remove my obsession with them.
The second part goes to the scripture and the question at the start of this post. I turn the game over to the Lord. It is not mine to fight, or at least not alone. If I continue my analogy, I essentially present the game to the Lord. In other words, I come to him with my desires. I confess my feelings. I simply confess my feelings in prayer on my knees if I can. If not, I can do as so vocally. I have found that by simply acknowledging the desire for what it is and then taking it to the Lord, I find the fulfilling power of the spirit to overcome it. I don't know if this is a strategy or if I am simply following the counsel listed in this scripture.
I try to avoid the temptation as much as I can. I have a duty to minimize my risk. So here, maybe a look into avoidance strategies might help, but even so, I can't imagine any strategy that does not come with daily prayer and scripture study along with reading and answering questions from the ARP manual before your next meeting.
I do work on my emotional behaviors as well. I use much of what is taught by Dr. Glasser in his book "Choice Theory" because I find it aligns very strongly with the teachings of freedom and relationships as I have understood them in the scriptures and by our leaders. So I do use other helps.
However, the core of my strategy, if I have one, is still prayer, scripture study, work the program. If I am devoted to this, I have success. When I forget this or neglect it, I begin to fail. I notice that when I am doing the core, my feelings for my addiction reduce in intensity. When I feel them, I notice it much sooner. I think this is because I am feeling the spirit in me more and the distruption of that spirit is more obvious than if I was not as in tune with the Holy Ghost. If I can intensify my feelings of the spirit, then the temptations have less power over me and I have the ability to give them to the Lord and have the confidence that they will be handled correctly.
Elder Ballard in his October 2010 Conference talk spoke on prayer and addiction:
If anyone who is addicted has a desire to overcome, then there is a way to spiritual freedom—a way to escape from bondage—a way that is proven. It begins with prayer—sincere, fervent, and constant communication with the Creator of our spirits and bodies, our Heavenly Father. It is the same principle in breaking a bad habit or repenting from sin of any kind...Fervent prayer is key to gaining the spiritual strength to find peace and overcome an addictive craving. Heavenly Father loves all of His children, so thank Him and express sincere faith in Him. Ask Him for the strength to overcome the addiction you are experiencing. Set aside all pride and turn your life and your heart to Him. Ask to be filled with the power of Christ’s pure love. You may have to do this many times, but I testify to you that your body, mind, and spirit can be transformed, cleansed, and made whole, and you will be freed. This seems less a strategy and more a following of what the Savior has taught us since the beginning of time.
You can see by his fervent testimony that prayer is critical. He cites scriptures in this talk as well to demonstrate how prayer helps.
Using scriptures was exemplified by the Savior after he fasted for 40 days. Satan appeared to him and made three attempts to tempt him into sin. Much has be spoken about the ways he was tempted during this time. But for me, the greatest lesson isn't the ways we are tempted, it is the way we resist temptation. Three times Satan came to Jesus, each time with different seductions and each time the Savior response began with the same three words, "It is written." I could from here go on forever about the power of what was said. But for now, I will simply say, the savior used no strategy. He simply relied on the words of God and his own witness of them. I think this is a most crucial lesson.
In returning ot the original question. Reliance on the lord is the best strategy, connecting with him through prayer and gospel study is how we gain the power to overcome. I know this is the way. I know this works. I know this is the core of the Addiction Recovery Program. It brings us to repentance. I am most grateful for it.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Recovery Journal 20120705
Write about how recognizing your helplessness to overcome your addiction on your own can bring you to admit your own nothingness and become as a little child.
Sometimes I wonder what I am supposed to be. Am I to be self-sufficient, self-reliant as I am sometimes taught, or am I to be completely dependent and unable to do anything myself as I am sometimes taught. Am I one or the other? I am supposed to exercise self-control and self-discipline and be self-governing?. The problem is that these terms suggest that I achieve these abilities on my own. The illusion is that I have mastered myself. The reality is the Lord has mastery over me by my allowing him to take control over my life. I believe this may the the need for all of us, but it is more pronounced for addicts. The addict is loses all self-management. Thus the addict must admit not only loss of power over self, but accept that only the power of God can restore them. I don't know if all people need to recognize this helplessness. Maybe most saints already do so. I do know that I need to always be aware of it because anything less is when I try to put my trust in me and I my failures to solve this myself are well documented. Cursed is he that putteth his trust in flesh or maketh flesh his arm (2 Nephi 4).
Facebook Dialogue About Parents and Standards
A recent comment from my nephew and my response:
Nephew:
"I know who I am. I know what I'm not. Nobody can or will tell me differently. I refuse to be influenced by the world. I make my own choices. If I mess up I suffer the consequences. But I won't mess up. I've seen the mistakes that people make between the sex, drugs, morals, standards, the affairs, the cheaters, the addicts. I understand the consequences of such actions. I do not disregard them, and in fact analyze the outcome of every situation from all possible viewpoints before I make a decision. Call me cocky, but I am smarter than the average 18 year old. I know my parents love me and want the best for me. I understand that fully, but they are going about it in a completely wrong way. I do not have it all figured out but neither do they. All I want is to be understood. I am my own man. I'm not messing up. All I want is to be trusted.I have done nothing to, mess that up so far, so I would like it if they and everyone else stopped assuming the worst..."
Me:
I was, as usual, having a little fun in my previous comment. But my reference to the article was legit. It's a great read.
Either way, I struck a nerve in my earlier post. I apologize for my abrasiveness.
Now I can either back off of your last comment, or I can decide to go in and address it full scooby snack. Your parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, knowing me and often lamenting that familiarity, already know which way I am going.
Yeah, maybe you're cocky, but then being called smarter than the average 18 year old about as big a compliment as being call the sexiest greeter at Wal-Mart, so maybe not that cocky. Anybody can examine their body of peers and decide themselves slightly above them. Most can see themselves considerably above them. Sometimes we see ourselves as less than them. All three are correct depending on the criteria you use as the guage.
The thing is, that's not the measurement you have been called to use. Seriously, if the best standard you got is not going to do drugs, become and addict or engage in premarital sex or extramarital affairs, you have kinda set the bar a little low. I don't think when Elder Ballard spoke to the young men about raising the bar, he had this level in mind.
So, as you go on with your choice and proceed confident in who you are, ask yourself if your self-assessment included these standards:
-- Mosiah asked us to become as a child, humble, meek, submissive, willing to submit to all things that the Lord inflicts upon us even as a child does submit to his father.
-- When Nephi was the only person in his family who did not lose faith, and even when his father gave up hope and murmured against the Lord, Nephi still went to him and asked him what direction to go.
-- The very young Stripling warriors were described as true in whatsoever thing they were trusted and were preserved by their diligence to the words of their mothers.
-- Upon learning what his father had been told to do by the Lord, Isaac fully complied and allowed himself to be made a sacrifice on the alter.
-- The fifth commandment, thou shalt hono they father and thy mother, is the first commandment with a blessing attached.
-- When Ammon was a servant to Lamoni, he was so diligent in keeping the instructions given by his master that Lamoni considered him a great spirit.
-- When the boy Joseph was slave into egypt his faithfulness to both the Lord and his master put him second only to the Pharoah in command.
-- When Nephi was asked to get the plates by his father, he immediately recognized his father's inspiration.
-- When Alma asked his son Helaman if he would keep his commandments, Helaman told his father "I will keep thy commandments with all my heart."
In all of these and many other examples, we see people whose faithfulness to the Lord include faithfulness to their leaders and most of them, faithfulness to their parents. This is the standard you have been called to bear.
So we ask you, do you have the inner strength to make the neck muscles more pliable? Can you turn your gaze away from the world and back into the eyes of those who have the greatest stake in your success? Unless your parents have directed you to do that which is contrary to the Lord's will, and I am 100 percent certain they have not, you may consider that your unwillingness to follow them indicates that you have already lowered your standards a bit too far.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Recovery Journal, 20120704 - All I can do.
Write about how recognizing your helplessness to overcome your addiction on your own can bring you to admit your own nothingness and become as a little child.
I don't know that I can fully explain what this means. I know that to declare myself unable to handle addictions on my own is to admit something that has been thought of as undesirable in my upbringing. "I can achieve anything" is something of a mantra in our family and we have demonstrated it from time to time. Yet I now see that in so doing, I neglect the greatest power for change in my life.
I don't know if I will ever be able to give all glory to God and acknowledge him in all things, even though this is considered one of the things that offends God (D&C 59:21). Even when coming thorugh the power of the Atonement and achieving sobriety, I have felt to pat myself on the back. Even if I acknowledge God's hand in all of this, I cannot say that I gave him full credit. I do look at it as my achievement.
Today we read Mosiah Chapter 2 as a family. As I read it, I felt a need to repent. What reason have I to boast? I can merit nothing of myself. Like Ammon and his brotheren,like the converted Lamanites, I feel that all I can do is repent. After this, I have to put all things in his hands. All the other things I do, prayer, scriptures, writing, reading in my ARP manual all are designed to remind me of my need to rely on the Lord and exercise faith in him. I am helpless after this. That may not be so bad.
I don't know that I can fully explain what this means. I know that to declare myself unable to handle addictions on my own is to admit something that has been thought of as undesirable in my upbringing. "I can achieve anything" is something of a mantra in our family and we have demonstrated it from time to time. Yet I now see that in so doing, I neglect the greatest power for change in my life.
I don't know if I will ever be able to give all glory to God and acknowledge him in all things, even though this is considered one of the things that offends God (D&C 59:21). Even when coming thorugh the power of the Atonement and achieving sobriety, I have felt to pat myself on the back. Even if I acknowledge God's hand in all of this, I cannot say that I gave him full credit. I do look at it as my achievement.
Today we read Mosiah Chapter 2 as a family. As I read it, I felt a need to repent. What reason have I to boast? I can merit nothing of myself. Like Ammon and his brotheren,like the converted Lamanites, I feel that all I can do is repent. After this, I have to put all things in his hands. All the other things I do, prayer, scriptures, writing, reading in my ARP manual all are designed to remind me of my need to rely on the Lord and exercise faith in him. I am helpless after this. That may not be so bad.
Facebook is the public forum for debate.
A recent Facebook post by a person I hold in the highest regard suggested that we shouldn't use Facebook for pushing our views on others. I understand her loathing of arguments filled with nasty comments or quips that look good on a bumper sticker but mean nothing. I share them. But I also welcome debate and find FB a good forum for it. My response to her comment is below.
While use of mocking language or personal attacks certainly make any debate unpleasant, debate itself can be very positive. I like FB debates because they take out the problems of verbal debates, emotional and rapid responses, interruptions, lack of a moderator when more than two are involved.
The idea that the voicing of opinions is separate from trying to change another's view puzzles me. The point of free speech is so we can exchange variations of ideas and pursue persuasion of another's view. The whole point of these freedoms is so evidence can be shared, theories presented, ideas exchanged so that we can change the world and the world changes first by changing ourselves and ourselves are changed by first examining our thoughts.
Isn't this better than sound bites on CNN/Fox/MSNBC? Isn't this a better way than mocking a president or a presidential candidate? If you don't debate where one can freely share, we leave our views to be developed by reckless pundits whose true interest, regardless of which side they stand, is money and ratings.
We go around saying we shouldn't discuss politics or religion and then sit in front of agenda driven TV and let the financial and monetary elites tell us what to think about both. We then tune out those who disagree with us and only notice them when they make mistakes. Then we go around hanging out only with those who think the same as us and forget that we do need people who can say, maybe we should reconsider. Sometimes we need friends, sometimes we need people who annoy us.
Facebook is the platform of the people. If we tell ourselves to shut up about issues here, those who know how to broker power will take that hole left and use it to further manage how we think. I can think of no greater joy than the use of social networking to create social change and not greater abuse than to stop it because it annoys others.
In fact the reason FB may have so much ugliness in debate may be because we have forgotten how to debate the issues. We may be following the example of the TV and injecting so much pride and anger in our positions that any challenge is viewed as a direct attack on the poster. This isn't debate, this is pride. We need to learn how to discourse and discuss. We need to learn that the win is in the learning and growing.
Speech is persuasion first, junk food later. Let us all take this day and remember that one of the reasons we celebrate it is because we have the right to voice our disparate views. We all live in a time when freedom of speech and press and gathering are greater than ever because the tools to engage in it are now ours to have more than ever. The best way to celebrate the 4th is to get on FB and start a debate. It is the very essence of why we celebrate our independence.
Recovery Journal 20120704
O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm. 2 Nephi 4:34
In the ARP manual, We are asked questions about Nephi's lament as recorded in 2 Nephi 4. What I find is that this chapter gives us a pattern of returning often to the Lord. Nephi finds himself in sorrow for his own sins and yet he also makes it clear where his hope lies. He laments his weakness, remembers the Lord and then returns to him.
Oh Wretched Man that I am (verse 17)...Nevertheless I know in whom I have trusted (verse 19)...O Lord, I have atrusted in thee, and I will btrust in thee forever (Verse 34).
In between verse 19 and 34, is Nephi doing what the Book of Mormon tells us to do over and over, he is remembering. He recalls what the Lord has done and the blessings he has received. He bears witness to himself of the Lord. In doing so he finds the power to return to the Lord.
To see this pattern is to give me such great comfort and joy and to know that I too can follow this pattern and return to the Lord again. When asked what can I do to put my trust in the Lord, I answer, I need to begin by making prayer a daily thing. I need to make daily paryer a more heartfelt thing. I need to pray to the Lord as though my survival depends on him as I believe it does. The time has come to be desperate for the Lord in my life. I need to beg as the citizens under King Benjamin's reign did. I need to be more than I am by being less than I think myself to be. I need to humble myself and look to the Lord for all things.
My days have been going very well lately. I must not slacken my grip to the iron rod. I must not think that momentum will carry me. I must not give myself credit. It is all I can do to remember to repent and call on the name of the Lord. I must remember my own repentant pattern long before I find myself being pulled into my addiction. I must remember how the Lord has blessed me.
In the ARP manual, We are asked questions about Nephi's lament as recorded in 2 Nephi 4. What I find is that this chapter gives us a pattern of returning often to the Lord. Nephi finds himself in sorrow for his own sins and yet he also makes it clear where his hope lies. He laments his weakness, remembers the Lord and then returns to him.
Oh Wretched Man that I am (verse 17)...Nevertheless I know in whom I have trusted (verse 19)...O Lord, I have atrusted in thee, and I will btrust in thee forever (Verse 34).
In between verse 19 and 34, is Nephi doing what the Book of Mormon tells us to do over and over, he is remembering. He recalls what the Lord has done and the blessings he has received. He bears witness to himself of the Lord. In doing so he finds the power to return to the Lord.
To see this pattern is to give me such great comfort and joy and to know that I too can follow this pattern and return to the Lord again. When asked what can I do to put my trust in the Lord, I answer, I need to begin by making prayer a daily thing. I need to make daily paryer a more heartfelt thing. I need to pray to the Lord as though my survival depends on him as I believe it does. The time has come to be desperate for the Lord in my life. I need to beg as the citizens under King Benjamin's reign did. I need to be more than I am by being less than I think myself to be. I need to humble myself and look to the Lord for all things.
My days have been going very well lately. I must not slacken my grip to the iron rod. I must not think that momentum will carry me. I must not give myself credit. It is all I can do to remember to repent and call on the name of the Lord. I must remember my own repentant pattern long before I find myself being pulled into my addiction. I must remember how the Lord has blessed me.
Monday, July 2, 2012
My Response to Report of Mass Mormon Resignation
Yesterday, the WaPo posted this article about supposed mass resignation ceremony. I don't know if the word mass fits here, given that we are talking about .001 percent of the membership. By the time the ceremony was over, we had already baptized that more than the number that had left. Still I found a sadness at this departure and as such felt to respond with the essay below:
Today in my LDS meetings, we talked about marriage. We talked about christlike love in marriage and hope and devotion to one another even in times when one questions their faith. We read scriptures, discussed in the class our own marriage challenges, some minor, some very major. We read passages of hope and peace in the Bible and the Book of Mormon. We prayed for renewed committment to our spouses and our families, to be more christian in our parenting.
My wife and I read the lesson in advance. We discussed where we could improve our marriage. We have been married for 26 years. Tonight we will pray together and seek a blessing for our 7 children, and our neighbors, many of whom are not LDS or are not practicing. Today people bore witness of the truth of Jesus, and the restoration of his gospel. Those who volunteered included single parents and families with husbands who have turned on their covenants. All spoke of the love of their families and those married spoke of the love of their spouses regardless.
We met as priesthood leaders and talked about how we might find greater joy through scriptures and through prayer. We talked about how trials shape us and how we can grow to be more than we are today. We talked about the commandments and what blessings in this life do we receive from them. We prayed to be better husbands and fathers. We all worry about our ability to raise children devoted to the Lord in these days. We feel the struggles and we bear each other up as we do so.
The night before this our largely LDS Neighborhood has a party. We invited all the neighbors and all but one showed up. We introduced ourselves to the neighbors as we had some new move-ins, niether of which are praciticing LDS. The mom of one of the new families, sporting ankle tatoos and who smokes, expressed her appreciation for the acceptance she felt from the neighborhood. She said they lived in another place, a place that is largely not-LDS, but this was a better fit.
In church, We talked about missionary work and how we wanted to first express a sense of welcoming to all regardless of their background or interest in the LDS Church. We have announced community outreach classes to benefit all in our neighborhood. I suspect few non-LDS will attend, but it is not because we have closed them out.
In church, We talked about missionary work and how we wanted to first express a sense of welcoming to all regardless of their background or interest in the LDS Church. We have announced community outreach classes to benefit all in our neighborhood. I suspect few non-LDS will attend, but it is not because we have closed them out.
We discuss from time to time in our meetings issues about Book of Mormon evidences and Book of Abraham evidences and most of us learn there is evidence to go either way. What we all seem to feel is that the messages we read, the lessons we learn, the depth of doctrine and love and spiritual strength we gain is the greatest evidence that this work is divine. We try to live according to this faith. We fail. We repent. We try again.
When I think of my LDS weekend and the weekend those in this article had, I am certain, mine was much better, and will have much greater long term benefit. I am saddened by this. I have known many who have left the faith. I have yet to see their lives made better. Some remain together, but they have closed up a bit, some have expressed that I shouldn't be in their business anyway. Perhaps, but caring about others does kinda put us in their business. So I care from distance. Most have ended their marriages, most found another church and then later gave up on those churches. Several gave up on God altogether. It saddens me when I think of my weekend and what they will miss.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
10 Axioms of Choice Theory
I have been reading Dr. Glasser's book, Choice Theory, for on and off for sorme time now. I have found it not only helpful and full of wonderful insight, I also find it very much in line with the principles of my faith. I am reminded of passages in Second Nephi chapter 2, and Doctrine and Covenants sections 93 and 121.
10 Axioms of Choice Theory
10 Axioms of Choice Theory
- The only person’s behavior I can control is my own.
- I am driven by five basic genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.
- I can satisfy these needs only by satisfying a picture of pictures in my quality world. Of all I know, what I choose to put in my quality world is most important.
- All I can do from birth to death is behave. All behavior is ‘total behavior’ and made up of four inseparable components: acting, thinking, feeling, and physiology.
- All total behavior is designated by verbs. For example, I am choosing to depress, or I am depressing; instead of I am suffering from depression, or I am depressed.
- All total behavior is chosen, but I have direct control only over my acting (doing) component and my thinking component. I can however, control my feelings and physiology by how I choose to think and act.
- All I can give or get from other people is information. How I deal with that information is my choice.
- Most long term psychological problems are relationship problems.
- The problem relationship is always part of my present life.
- What happened in the past that was painful has a great deal to do with who I am today, but revisiting this painful past can contribute little or nothing to what I need to do now. I should strive to improve important, present relationships.
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