As an addict involved in the LDS Addiction Recovery Program, I had to dig deep to find and embrace my inner Mormon. What follows is my journal from this point forward.
I'm a Mormon.
Showing posts with label Choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Choices. Show all posts

Sunday, July 1, 2012

10 Axioms of Choice Theory

I have been reading Dr. Glasser's book, Choice Theory, for on and off for sorme time now.  I have found it not only helpful and full of wonderful insight, I also find it very much in line with the principles of my faith.  I am reminded of passages in Second Nephi chapter 2, and Doctrine and Covenants sections 93 and 121. 





10 Axioms of Choice Theory

  1. The only person’s behavior I can control is my own.
  2. I am driven by five basic genetic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun.
  3. I can satisfy these needs only by satisfying a picture of pictures in my quality world. Of all I know, what I choose to put in my quality world is most important.
  4. All I can do from birth to death is behave. All behavior is ‘total behavior’ and made up of four inseparable components: acting, thinking, feeling, and physiology.
  5. All total behavior is designated by verbs. For example, I am choosing to depress, or I am depressing; instead of I am suffering from depression, or I am depressed.
  6. All total behavior is chosen, but I have direct control only over my acting (doing) component and my thinking component. I can however, control my feelings and physiology by how I choose to think and act.
  7. All I can give or get from other people is information. How I deal with that information is my choice.
  8. Most long term psychological problems are relationship problems.
  9. The problem relationship is always part of my present life.
  10. What happened in the past that was painful has a great deal to do with who I am today, but revisiting this painful past can contribute little or nothing to what I need to do now.  I should strive to improve important, present relationships.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Will Ye Also Go Away

Will Ye Also Go Away

 No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and Mammon (3 Nephi 13:24, Matthew 6:24).
After the great miracle of Jesus wherein the five thousand were fed by five loaves of bread and five fishes, the Savior walked across the Sea of Galilee and joined his disciples in their boat. The next day those that were fed searched for Jesus. Their desire was not for the things of the spirit, but for more of the food that the Savior provided. It was in this context that the Savior gave his bread of life sermon found in John chapter 6. During this sermon Jesus used the analogy of the bread to declare himself without question as the Messiah, the Savior of the world. 


The response of those that heard was not favorable. In verse 66 it reads"From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him."


This must have been a sad moment for the Savior to see so many unwilling to accept the truth. He then turned his attention to his apostles and asked “Will ye also go away?” Peter responded saying “Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life.”


How easy it must have been for those who left to murmur and justify their way out of their discipleship at that moment. Yet in so doing,they lost many blessings.


These days that question, "will ye also go away" as asked by the Savior, comes up daily. In a recent conference, Elder W. Craig Zwick, of the Seventy told the story of a teenager named Ethan:
Ethan, approached his mother with a weighty question. Like most teenagers, Ethan wants to be independent, self-sufficient, and surrounded by good friends. He is trying to make good choices on his own. He is exceedingly valiant, works hard on his grades, and studies the scriptures daily. Like all young people, Ethan faces tremendous temptations. It comes in the halls of his school, on the Internet, in the movies and music. It can be heard in bad language and seen in provocative clothing. That which is wrong is often made to look right. Anxiety and fear of rejection are common among teenagers. Peer pressure is often overpowering. Ethan was feeling bombarded with opposing values.
 This is the question he asked his mother: "Mom, do I need to lower my standards to keep my friends?"
 His Mother answered with a resounding no (Conference Report, April 2008).
The experience of Ethan is similar to the experiences many teenagers have to face each day. Each day they face the same question the Savior asked, will ye also go away?  They are not the only Saints facing this question. Adults also face this question repeatedly. As Latter-Day Saints we are all called to stand against the blowing winds of the philosophies of men. 


 The Lord knew this time was coming. He knew people would invent their own ideas and use them to justify their behaviors. He knew they would advocate them to others.  He knew, they would even try to pass them off as a higher morality.  He also knew the sorrow they would bring.  Because he knew this, he prepared a way for us to stay strong during this time. In the first section of the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord describes the people of this dispensation:
15 For they have strayed from mine ordinances, and have broken mine everlasting covenant;
 16 They seek not the Lord to establish his righteousness, but every man walketh in his own way, and after the image of his own god…
17 Wherefore, I the Lord, knowing the calamity which should come upon the inhabitants of the earth, called upon my servant Joseph Smith, Jun., and spake unto him from heaven, and gave him commandments (D&C 1:15-17).
There is no doubt that we live in a time when people walk in their own way, seeking only the next new stimulus. The need for a prophet in our day is only too obvious. We live in a world similar to Athens during the ministry of Paul.  In the book of Acts chapter 17, the Athenians are described:
For all the Athenians and strangers which were there spent their time in nothing else, but either to tell, or to hear some new thing (Acts 17:21)
These days some new thing shows up almost daily.  They come at us like an unending barrage of hurricanes. Each time their worldly winds  brings ideas designed to erode away at our values, our faith, and our family. Each time, those who follow those changing winds condemn those who hold fast to the iron rod. Sadly, even in the church, there are those who spend their time chasing after the debris each new wind blows in. Furthermore, some assert without cause or reason that they are newly enlightened; that they are in the right and that it is Lord’s church that has gone astray.


In commenting on this, Elder Neil a Maxwell asked this question:
Why are a few members…so eager to hear some new doubt or criticism? Just as some weak members slip across a state line to gamble, a few go out of their way to have their doubts titillated. Instead of nourishing their faith, they are gambling “offshore” with their fragile faith. To the question “Will ye also go away?” these few would reply, “Oh, no, we merely want a weekend pass in order to go to a casino for critics or a clubhouse for cloakholders.” Such easily diverted members are not disciples but fair-weather followers. (Maxwell, Answer Me, Ensign November 1988)
Lord gave us a better way. We have the more sure word of prophecy. We have been blessed with leaders who have Priesthood power and revelation so that we need do not have to suffer from spiritual misdirection.  This is the way it has always been.  In Ephesians we are told:
11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;
12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ…
14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive (Ephesians 4:11-12,14).
With each storm of worldly change, we have a safe harbor, a strong sail, and a worthy rudder.  Like those of ancient times, we can take comfort in the guiding hand of prophets, apostles, and the rest of the leaders which collectively make up the Lord's church.


Consider the Word of Wisdom.  In this revelation, the Lord made it clear that the reason for this doctrine was to protect against the evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days (D&C 89:4). Verse 4 describes the term conspiring. This term is especially revealing. Over 150 years after that revelation, various states filed a class action suit against the tobacco companies. Included in this action was the charge of conspiracy; that they knowingly and willingly conspired to put addictive chemicals in the cigarettes for the purpose of profit. Tobacco claims the lives of nearly 5 million people worldwide annually. How much easier it would be if people would but follow the revelation of the Lord.


We cannot wait and watch for so-called vanguard and cutting edge ideas bear bitter fruit.  We need to take our stand now. By the time society realizes that it is wrong, it often is too late. How many will die from substance addictions wishing they had the wisdom to not start.  How many broken homes will destroy the foundation of society before they realize the value of the family.  Is is any different in our time than it was in Noah's? Noah’s people finally became convinced as the waters took them away.  Similarly, the people of Sodom and Gomorrah must have sought that prophetic umbrella during their final hailstorm.  We cannot wait to take our stand.  Just as Joshua asked his people to choose, we must choose now to whom we follow.


In 2003 Elder Packer at BYU. He spoke against many of the evils and influences of the world. He spoke against immorality, pornography, alcohol use and other things. Then near the end of the talk he made a rather disturbing comment:
We are about the only ones left in the world who hold to these standards. When we look around, we cannot find any organization that is holding to the standards. We do not like to talk about other churches, but we are going to stand alone. If so there we will stand. (Boyd K. Packer, The Instrument of Your Mind and the Foundation of Your Character, BYU Speeches, Feb. 2, 2003).
It can be difficult to be the only group of people standing for something and to be criticized, jeered, mocked, even vilified for standards others have abandoned. Lehi’s vision of the pride of the world was a Great and Spacious building for a reason.  It's meaning resonates more these days than ever before. In those verses comes one of the most powerful statements about keeping your faith:
33 And great was the multitude that did enter into that strange building. And after they did enter into that building they did point the finger of scorn at me and those that were partaking of the fruit also; but we heeded them not.

34 These are the words of my father: For as many as heeded them, had fallen away.
Despite the large numbers of critical people, those who held to the rod enjoyed the fruit of the tree; a fruit whose sole purpose is to make one happy. This is the example we must follow. Elder Packer has recently emphasized this need to not heed them by stating: 

"However out of step we may seem, however much the standards are belittled, however much others yield, we will not yield, we cannot yield."


Each day we are asked by the Savior “Will ye also go away?” Each day must be able to answer humbly and with the same faith that Peter had, “Where shall we go Lord, thou hast the words of Eternal life.” Savior's way is the way. 


We are talking about being steadfast and immovable. These words can seem daunting. They speak of a strength that perhaps many do not feel they possess. My experience has taught me clearly that it is not my strength that accomplishes anything for the Lord. Rather it is in the Lord that any strength is found. When we talk of being steadfast and immovable, we are not talking about being strong willed and stubborn. We are talking about being meek and humble.


Look at the faithful Nephites in Alma chapter 1:
22 Nevertheless, there were many among them who began to be proud, and began to contend warmly with their adversaries, even unto blows; yea, they would smite one another with their fists.
23 Now this was in the *second year of the reign of Alma, and it was a cause of much affliction to the church; yea, it was the cause of much trial with the church.
24 For the hearts of many were hardened, and their names were blotted out, that they were remembered no more among the people of God. And also many withdrew themselves from among them.
25 Now this was a great trial to those that did stand fast in the faith; nevertheless, they were steadfast and immovable in keeping the commandments of God, and they bore with patience the persecution which was heaped upon them.
Those that were steadfast and immovable were not a stiff-necked people, but a people willing to submit themselves to whatsoever things the Lord saw fit to inflict upon them. Even as a child submits to his father (Mosiah 3:19). Our time is like the time described in these passages. Their faith needs to be our faith.


I once heard a bishop speak from the pulpit about those who have one foot in the church and one foot in the world. He spoke a phrase which I believe came from God. It pierced me that day to the extent that I have never forgotten it. He said "we cannot have one foot in the church and one foot in the world and expect salvation for our families". To those seek to walk both paths, we as a body of saints plead, come into the fold of the church, do as Elder McConckie once advocated. “Stay in the mainstream of the church. This is the Lord’s church.” He will not allow it to go astray. 


I hope, in spite of all my weaknesses, that is where I remain.













Sunday, October 2, 2011

My Summary of Sunday afternoon session of General Conference, Oct. 2011



Russell A. Nelson, Quorum of the 12 Apostles.
Elder Nelson spoke about the importance of covenants, and especially about the ancient covenants and their relationship to latter-day restoration. He talked about the Abraham a covenant and the promises made Israel and our role in them.

Elder Nelson taught that the coming forth of the book of Mormon was beginning the fulfillment of the covenant to gather Israel and that we as Latter-Day Saints have a duty to assist in the gathering of Israel.

He associated the covenants given anciently with the commandments to live righteously and that we keep covenants in these latter days as part of our devotion to our faith. He stated that the greatest complement one could receive would be being called a covenant keeper. He stated that when we understand that we are the children of the covenant that we know who we are and what God expects of us.

Dallin H. Oaks, Quorum of the 12 Apostles
Elder Oaks spoke on the importance of understanding Jesus Christ and what he has done for us. He cautioned against following the teachings of the world and even other Christian faiths that praise Jesus as a teacher but reject his divinity. He then recalled many New Testament Scriptures wherein the Savior himself testify of his Godhood.

Through this, Elder Oaks demonstrated that Jesus is the only begotten of the Father, his appearance is as that of the Father, that he was in the beginning with God, that he was the Creator, that he was Jehovah, that he is the light and life of the world, that we come to the father through him, that we come to him by following the will of the father.

Elder Oaks taught us that we are guided to follow Jesus by the influence of the Holy Ghost and by following the commandments given. He stressed that we are to seek him first and that we must not be like those who would Jesus declared himself the Bread of Life, many went away because they could not seek him above all else.

He expressed the culmination of the Savior's ministry was the Atonement. And that through this we overcome physical death, and spiritual death and bring about the hope for Exaltation. To summarize the Savior's role as creator, light of the world, and Redeemer. He stated that the way to Christ is first, desire and second, obedience.

Elder Matthew O. Richardson, Of the Seventy
Elder Richardson spoke about teaching. He declared that we all have a responsibility to teach and to teach by the spirit. He talked about teaching by the spirit instead of in front of it or behind it or in place of it. He made mention that some people think they are teaching by the spirit where in fact there only "winging it." He taught how others seek to teach their own thoughts and not teach by the spirit.

He explained to things that we can do to teach after the manner of the spirit. We can do this by following two ways in which the Holy Ghost teaches us. The first being that the Holy Ghost teaches in a very personal way. That we can follow this and strive to teach people instead of teaching lessons. He counseled us to pause and listen and to observe those we teach, to see where they are, to understand them. The second is that the Holy Ghost teaches by inviting us and prompting us and inspiring us to act. And that we can invite others to act for themselves and encourage them to take these lessons to heart to change not only their synapses but also their behavior.

Elder Kazuhiko Yamashita, Of the Seventy
Elder Yamashita expressed gratitude for the missionaries and how he is never forgotten the missionaries who brought him to the gospel. He expressed that even when baptized he did not fully understand all the teachings, but that the love conveyed by the missionaries and the love he felt during his baptism and confirmation came from the Holy Ghost and taught him that he was loved. He encouraged future missionaries to do three things: bring a desire to present gospel, bring a testimony with them, and love others.

Elder Randall K. Bennett, Of the Seventy
Elder Bennett spoke about an experience in swimming in dangerous currents when he thought he had the ability to handle it. He told how this choice he made nearly cost him his life. After struggling to swim back to shore and becoming exhausted to the point of nearly drowning he began to plead for help only to find a lifeguard next him. He said the lifeguard saw him swim in the current new where you would be with their and patiently waited for him to call for help. He likened this to the choices we often make.

He expressed that the choices we make are the choices of not only our actions but are consequences. He told the story of a child who wanted to choose only the best of consequences regardless of her actions. He said we can choose to follow God and seek joy in following his path organ choose the folder world and indulgence in and it's ultimate sorrow, but we cannot choose to do both. We said we all face adversity, temptations, and we all make mistakes. But that we can all repent.

He challenged us to examine the things that we think say and do to see if we are choosing eternal life.

J. Devin Cornish, Of the Seventy
Elder Cornish spoke of God being a physical being and not some intangible feeling or force. That he is a loving father and that we should learn to pray to him as such. He recounted his own story and having an answer to prayer and asked why would God be concerned with something so small. He answered his own question by saying he believes that God loves us so much that our concerns are his concerns.

Even though God does love us agency dictates that he does not affect our lives without us asking him first. We need to seek him and ask for his help. He then used the Lord's prayer as the example of the pattern of prayer that we should have. He explained that the purpose of prayer is not to change the will of God but to have God bestow promised blessings upon us. He taught that is the devil but teaches us not to pray that it times some people think they are too sinful to pray. He said this is like a person being too sick to see a doctor.

He stated that praying and understanding what we should ask for and receiving answers takes practice, but that we can all learn the language of the spirit.

Elder Quentin L. Cook, Quorum of the 12 Apostles
Elder Cook spoke about trials and tribulations. He began by rehearsing some of the tragedies that have occurred in recent years. He addressed the question of why God allows bad things to happen and stated that we don't always know the reasons but that we do understand the principles of God, and that understanding them can give us a better perspective on these tragedies.

These principles include that we have a loving Heavenly Father, that his son Jesus Christ at home for our sufferings, and that there is an eternity and a plan of salvation.

Elder Cook express Sierra of looking at trials in life only through the lens of mortality and that if only look into this lens tragedy does not make sense. He also explain the tragedy come from many different elements, such as the agency of others that another's choice must include the ability to choose bad things and that those bad choices can affect even righteous people. He explained that some tragedies come to others because of disobedience to Commandments such as violation of the word wisdom or the law of chastity. He explained that others may not have any direct explanation but that the perspectives of the eternities can help us.

He looked at to LDS connections to the tragedy of the Titanic. How would one case missionaries were safe from harm by not being able to board the ship, and how in another case a member did board the ship and even though the women and children were placed in the liferafts how she stayed and assisted others even to her own death. It is not easy to understand why some would be spared another's would not, Elder Cook said. But that we know from the wider and clearer lands of the gospel we can see that none of these tragedies are permanent and that those who are righteous and are slain are not lost in the lives are not meaningless.

He spoke of Capt. Moroni and how he stated that the Lord will at times allow the righteous to be slain that he may allow his judgments to come upon the wicked. And that those who are righteous but die, die and to God and will be saved in his kingdom.

He concluded by stating that the atonement covers all of the unfairness of life and that there is no chance or fate or destiny that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul. Our question is not so much why tragedy occurs but how will we choose to live in the face of tragedy.

President Thomas S. Monson
Pres. Monson expressed gratitude for all who have helped in this conference. This included choirs and congregations. He expressed his love for us and his gratitude for our service. He admonished us to be more kind, more loving to be always found doing good and serving the Lord, and to endeavor to increase our testimony.